Rewriting Relationships

I tend to see the good in people
my brain is proficient at turning bad behavior
into excuses
 “They must have meant this” or
“Obviously they care about me because….” or my favorite
“They must just be going through their own thing” 
excuses that slowly eat me alive
I re-create narratives
of who they are as humans
ensuring to erase any negative from the page
It can only be perfect
It can only be good
Twisting and warping reality into a parallel
a plane of delusion
Holding onto empty words
Clawing at torn pages, 
broken promises turned into
prompts for my active brain
Spinning and rewriting to feel loved
Hours of editing scenarios 
that reconstruction flowing into easy forgiveness
“They didn’t mean it like that”
only to revisit the previous chapter
perusing again; a recurring theme
A cycle that will surely shatter me
with each re-read the emotion less raw
You already know what comes next
You know the lines by heart
and I promise you
One day, you’ll read the words for what they are
you’ll understand that there are no hidden meanings
nothing written between the lines
you will put that book down, let it collect dust in the archives 
The chapters ingrained as lessons in your mind

and I promise you; you won’t ever pick that book up again.