Maybe it wasn't youMaybe it was justthe way your eyes meeting minerushed blood to my cheeksburning from the inside outheart pounding at my chestdesperate to beat its way through my sternumquivering hands words stucktongue failing to recallhow to movebutterflies irritating my stomach liningmoments later words spewinganxiety crawling out of my mouthlike a swarm of angry,... Continue Reading →
I miss you…
I miss you sometimeseven though I've reminded myselfover and overyou are not mine to miss...you never wereNevertheless the feeling..that nagging, longingcreeps inDuring the dark silence3AMalone in bedme and my boisterous, scrambled thoughtsof you of what could have been...It stalks me in the carstrikes opportunisticallyme unexpectingthe lyrics of a songthe hum of a melodyshooting bullets into... Continue Reading →
Drowning in “what ifs”
Sometimes I drown in "what ifs"they crash over mepummeling like wavesleaving me heaving for airsalt stinging open woundsSometimes, I let thempull me outinto the riptidedrag me to the pastfloat there awhilea sea of different endingsall leading to a loss of airall resulting in megasping on the ocean floor
Happy Sunday!
My plants know me better than anyonesentient beingshanging on the wall witnessing my lifebehind closed doorsan intimate connection...observing each other's growth.
Dear…you know who,
I really cared about youAnd I think you knew thatNo, I knew you knew thatI had told you so many timeswith wordswith actionswith the way I looked at youIt was so clearso obviousThe thing wasI could never tell if you cared about meSometimes I thought you dida look in your eyesa kind gesturea corny lineOther... Continue Reading →
Sundays
Sundays are my favorite day of the weekIt is the day of restthe day of resetIt's the one day of the week I allow myself to sleep inno alarms blaring at 6amno need to jump out of bed and get readyinstead, a slow morningfilled with coffee, TV, reading and cuddles with the dogsa day of... Continue Reading →
Rest more, Restless
I feel tired todayMy body begging me to take a breakeyes heavy, limbs gelatinMy brain pushing me to power throughdo this, do thatAn ongoing battle The internal struggle itself, drainingI wonder sometimesWhy we as humans are not allowed to restThe expectation for productivity every dayThe word lazy used as a slur When really we all... Continue Reading →
Free Writing
Sometimes I get nervous about putting my words down on paperlike once they’re written and re-read they’re no longer a fragment of my imaginationThey’re real. For other people to take in, to judge. For myself to revisit, scrutinize. It scares me. Sometimes I like to just let them bounce around in my head for a... Continue Reading →
Expectations
Sometimes I thinkexpectations are little murderers.skulking down dark alley wayswaiting to take our livesThey mentallytear us. Like a knife,slowly moving acrosssoft flesh, bloodpouring in warning, life draining.Expectations openthat wound up-bare-handed andsearch around, graspingintestines and arteries,pulling and tainting untilwe writhe in pain.Sometimes they make it to the brain-little pathogens eating a hole creating a home in... Continue Reading →
K.J Stafford 