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At the time cutting you from my life felt foreign, torturous. My heart bled. The pain in my chest was so loud. It bubbled up into my eyelids, falling freely in droplets of salt- the only way to catch some fleeting solace. For weeks after, I questioned myself. Should I reach out just once more?
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I miss you sometimeseven though I’ve reminded myselfover and overyou are not mine to miss…you never wereNevertheless the feeling..that nagging, longingcreeps inDuring the dark silence3AMalone in bedme and my boisterous, scrambled thoughtsof you of what could have been…It stalks me in the carstrikes opportunisticallyme unexpectingthe lyrics of a songthe hum of a melodyshooting bullets into
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Sometimes I drown in “what ifs”they crash over mepummeling like wavesleaving me heaving for airsalt stinging open woundsSometimes, I let thempull me outinto the riptidedrag me to the pastfloat there awhilea sea of different endingsall leading to a loss of airall resulting in megasping on the ocean floor
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My plants know me better than anyonesentient beingshanging on the wall witnessing my lifebehind closed doorsan intimate connection…observing each other’s growth.
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1. 6:00 am: My fur babies nestled into my side. Warmth radiating from their small bodies. Bed feeling like a warm cloud. 10 minutes of pets and snuggles. A small moment of calm before the demands of the day start to stack up in the brain. 2. 7:30 am: Coffee. Cold and sweet. A splash
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The uneven ground dug into the flesh of my exposed feet. Rocks and sticks cutting like little knives as I ran. He was coming. I couldn’t hear anything over my ragged breathing, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood erect giving away his presence. Trees flew by me in a blur, a
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High School was where I first learned to tune out what others think. This was of course after being pushed to the brink by a group of high school boys. They’d gag at me as I passed them in the hallways- “fat whale” “bitch,” they’d say. At first I tried my best to ignore them.
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After losing my job I went through a whole lifetime of feelings. I was sad, I was scared, I was frustrated- for years I had put all of my effort into this company. So much time invested. So many days of anxiety. All for them to throw me away like a pile of trash when
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K.J Stafford 