Moving On

I saw you yesterday
for the first time in a long time
I thought by now
I would be able to walk by, 
look you in your golden eyes
and feel fine
Instead, my body reacts
as if it’s in its final moments
as if you’re the hunter
and I am the fleeing rabbit
My heart raps at my sternum
a rhythmic, forceful pounding
shuttering my rib cage
trying to punch its way from my chest
blood runs hot under my skin
rushing too fast through veins
tiny blue rivers threatening to burst
flushing my skin, hot
boiling through the seven layers 
I thought I’d want to say something
One last shot
at a reconcile, at having you again
but, my mouth stays clamped shut
lips unable to move
unwilling to open for you
So much left to say
empty words that won’t change
words that have already spilled 
floating through deaf ears

I walk by you
eyes fixed on the ground
knowing your image would burn me
Force myself forward
even as the imaginary string
tries to pull me back, reel me in
I leave you
Standing alone
The same as you left me.