Time Lived is not Wasted

Daily writing prompt

How do you waste the most time every day?

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I used to be so concerned about wasted time. I would lay in bed each night and scrutinize my day. Like I was the appointed judge of my own life, always ready to dole out mental punishments on myself. I'd replay my schedule - minute by minute, analyzing. Where could I fit in more? Where did I waste time? I found myself classifying many normal daily activities as "a waste of time." 

Watching TV 
Scrolling social media
Gazing off into space
Dancing around like a lunatic for 20 minute to my favorite songs
Reading

For some reason, my brain immediately stuck these into the "unproductive" category. And at a glance, with a certain mindset, maybe these are less productive than say, doing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, checking emails, going to the gym etc. I became a mad woman. The mission: be as productive as possible every day. I cut activities that my brain deemed unproductive and replaced them with things that felt like getting done was a check off the to do list. 

The result: I lost my damn mind. Anxiety began to eat me alive. The lack of downtime was playing with my brain. I was productive. But I was also tired, moody, and getting absolutely 0 joy out of life. 

I quickly came to realize that the above activities were actually essential to my wellbeing. They weren't unproductive. They had a purpose- for my mental health, for my sanity: 

-  Watching TV/scrolling social media: The perfect way to wind down after a busy day. An hour or two at night, totally fine. Needed even in order to keep up with a busy schedule. 
- Zoning out: For me, absolutely necessary to calm my brain down and reflect- productively processing the day, feeling emotions, keeping grounded. 
- Dancing: Number one: amazing exercise. And number two: amazing regulation after a stressful day. Keeping anxiety at bay and stress down is in fact, productive af. 
- Reading: absolutely productive towards becoming a better writer. Also a fabulous way to relax - two birds, one stone. 

I'm learning to balance productivity with downtime. I'm learning to reframe my brain, re-learning what the definition of production is. I'm working on cutting out guilt for taking time to rest. And for being proud of myself for even the littlest accomplishments- you bet 20 minutes of reading is on the to-do list and checking it off gives me just as much joy as checking off "scrub the floors."

Life is all about balance. And all about how you frame it to yourself. 

Cleaning, working, lifting weights, running cardio, walking the dogs- all productive. And so is laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, doom scrolling for an hour, allowing your body to rest. Rest and productivity go hand in hand. There is absolutely no such thing as wasted time. 

Any time lived is time well spent.